Terry,
Has anyone bothered to point out to your correspondents that just because they want something to be, that doesn't mean it is? You can tell them, from me, that they've been overridden. Based on the information you've given us, this woman was NOT a Civil War veteran, no matter how much they might want her to be, any more than were all the lads and lassies back home in England who read about the war in the newspapers. Bloody sorry, old boys.